Woman demands her boyfriend combine his income with hers, despite him already paying for 75% of their expenses, goes on to share all his private financial details with her sister when he refuses: ‘Her sister claims I’m selfish with money'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Oct 7, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

We completely understand that nothing can come between the bond of two sisters…but does it mean that are have to share everything? This woman goes down a ranting rabbit hole after her boyfriend refuses to join bank accounts with her. After all, he does pay for the majority of all their expenses and is financially contributing to most of their relationship. So is it really fair that she uses up the money he saved for him self, after already spending a fortune on her? 

Well, she thinks so. And has convinced her sister to agree. After her boyfriend rejected her 'genius' financial proposal, she decided to share every detail of her boyfriend's financial situation, including specific saving amounts, with her sister. Something that is definitely none of her business. Most people would keep the information they learned to themselves, yet she decided that the best way to confront her sister's boyfriend, for his lack of enthusiasm towards her idea, was by claiming that he's selfish with money…

I don't know how these sisters were raised, but the *joys of independence* are definitely lacking…

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  • It feels like this girlfriend is paying her sister interest to fight her battles for her. We’re not quite sure how long this boyfriend will put up with their entitled behavior, especially as they’re barely engaged, let alone married…If she’s acting like this now, we’re worried the take take take is only going to worsen. Either this couple needs to find a way to agree on their finances or their bank accounts won’t be the only thing separating. 

  • Couple dealing with finances
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  • AITA for not combining income and/or sharing my savings with my girlfriend so we both have "spending" money?

    am going to try and keep this short. My girlfriend and I moved in together this past summer.
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  • We split joint expenses (rent, utilities, groceries, etc.) proportional to income. I make about 3x as much as my girlfriend, as a result, I pay 75% of our joint expenses.
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  • I have virtually no expenses outside of the point expenses. My girlfriend has alot of expenses outside our joint expenses.
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  • She has a car payment, student loan payments, health insurance premiums, medical debt, personal credit card debt, etc.
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  • At the end of the month, she does not have very much money left over. I have a fair bit left over at the end of the month, but most of it I save.
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  • I do have a "fun" money account to treat myself to nice things every once in a while.
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  • About a month ago, my girlfriend approached me about the idea of combining income so we each have money at the end of the month to save and/or to do fun things.
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  • Couple looking at online banking
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I flatly refused this request. I think splitting joint expenses proportional to income is the fair model for an unmarried couple like us living together and that is what we do.
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  • Over Halloween weekend, my girlfriend's sister and her fiance are having their bachelorette and bachelor parties, respectively.
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  • My girlfriend is going to the bachelorette party and I am going to the bachelor party.
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  • The bachelor party will be a weekend boys' trip to Florida. The bachelorette party is substantially smaller due to my girlfriend's inability to contribute significantly to the fund for the party.
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  • My girlfriend and her sister talked about the situation. My girlfriend told her sister she cannot afford a big trip.
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  • My girlfriend's sister asked how I was affording the bachelor party trip. Then for reasons that still make no sense to me, my girlfriend went into detail about how much I make and how much I have in savings (I have substantial savings because I went to college on scholarship & after I graduated, my parents gifted me my entire college fund).
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  • Woman whispering to another woman
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  • My girlfriend's sister has convinced my girlfriend that I am selfish with money, even though I cover 75% of joint expense and cover 100% of our going out activities when we do go out.
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  • I am pretty ped about my girlfriend sharing my personal financial information with her sister. But, I am unchanged in my position on combing our income.
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  • Active-Designer934 I think you might be slightly the AH only bc it sounds like you got a leg up in a lot of ways your SO did not. I think your gf is being slightly the AH by asking for full shared expenses. Not many people can say that they got a full ride to college and got gifted their college money from parents. Sounds like your parents set you up but also subsidized your life. And before anyone says anything, I'm willing to bet that getting a full ride was also easier with financially stable
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  • AdBubbly8281 OP I grew up with my girlfriend. She grew up far richer than I did. She could have gone to college debt-free had she stayed local like I did. She chose an expensive school, which is why she has loans.
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  • Savings-Breath-9118 NTA you may love her, but I don't understand why you are with this person who seems to be most interested in your money. Not only does she want things to be beneficial to her but she talks to her family about your private financial information. I know it's easy to say break up, but I would give this relationship a serious look.
    via Savings-Breath-9118
  • RJack151 NTA. She is only a gf, not a wife or fiance. Do not combine them.
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  • facinationstreet NTA. Your gf is trying to grift off of you and thinks you won't notice. You should never have moved in with someone who has so much debt but here we are.
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  • Unfortunately, the bottom line here is that this relationship is going to end over this. Your gf believes that she is entitled to your money, she believes that she is entitled to share personal information with anyone (sharing your financials with her sister is egregious) and she believes that you are 'cheating' her out of what she is owed. You'll probably want to get ahead of this.
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  • MyVingerStink Sharing your personal details, financially irresponsible and thirdly trying to guilt trip you... so are you the AH? Yeah... you would be if you stay with this relationship
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relationship advice sharing income student loans living together sisters bachelorette party relationship-drama askreddit proportional girlfriend finances couples expensive dating scholarship
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